The Power of Forgiveness can be a Lifechanger!
Learn the power of forgiveness and become a happier person
Learn the power of forgiveness and become a happier person. More than likely, we all have had someone who has wronged us in the past and caused much pain and anguish. It’s hard to just simply forgive and forget. In fact, I don’t think anyone forgets, especially if the incident was quite emotionally painful.
In this article, Made You Smile Back will show you the true power of forgiveness and provide you with ways to learn to move on and bring back joy and happiness into your life. We will explore what is forgiveness and why it is so important to come to terms with it and the best methods of handling it.
Hopefully, by the end of this blog, you shall be in a position to not only effectively forgive someone (and perhaps even yourself), but also see that it truly can be a lifechanger! And you will be rewarded with many blessings in return!
“To Err is Human, To Forgive Is DIVINE”
Alexander Pope wrote those wise words. In the poem An Essay on Criticism, Part II , 1711, Pope explains that, while anyone can make a mistake, we should aspire to do as God does, that is, show mercy and forgive sinners.
So what is forgiveness exactly and why is it so important? Forgiveness itself is actually the result of one forgiving another. More specifically forgiveness is a mental and/or spiritual process of acknowledging and ‘letting go’ of past sins committed against us.
Forgiveness is a ‘choice’ to let go of hanging on to grudges or bitterness and in the process, dealing with the ‘hurt’ in a positive way. We can never truly forgive, unless we learn to forgive our own self and use the power of ‘love’ when forgiving.
Forgiveness is for our own happiness and personal growth. The importance of the act of forgiving means you value yourself and well-being first and foremost. Read this next quote and you will see the power that forgiveness has for you!
Can You Really Forgive and Forget?
So you see, when you are forgiving, the power belongs to ‘you’! Forgiveness frees us to live in the present. But let’s talk about forgiving and forgetting. Can one really, honestly do that?
While it sounds good in ‘theory’, the reality is one shouldn’t have to forget. Forgiving someone is not giving them a pardon for the wrong or hurt they caused. Forgiving is the ability to allow ‘ourselves’ to no longer be stuck and move on with our lives.
Sure, in time, memories will dull and the pain and hurt does indeed slowly heal. So I applaud those who can actually forget but I want to point out 4 reasons why I believe we shouldn’t have to forget.
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Four Reasons Why Sometimes It’s Okay Not To Forget when Forgiving Someone
- Forgiveness allows us to learn from past experiences. Perhaps there is a lesson to be learned. We need to be mindful of the lesson, and learn to move on and forward. This may mean putting distance between the person who hurt us.
- Forgiveness protects our emotional health and well-being. I don’t know about you, but for me, it simply just takes ‘too much energy’ to sustain being angry or upset at someone. Forgiveness replaces this negative energy into positivity and brings us back to happiness and joy.
- Believe it or not, but forgiveness can also end up strengthening our relationships. All relationships can be restored, not in spite of what happened in the past but because of it. The act of forgiving can strengthen people’s commitment to a healthy relationship if both are committed to doing so.
- By not forgetting, we protect ourselves from being a victim of the same offense again. It’s important to remember what happened to us in order to avoid letting it happen again.
Hear What Nelson Mandela Has To Say About Forgiveness
Everyone’s knows that the word ‘forgiveness’ is synonymous to Nelson Mandela and how he lived his life. He will be remembered to have lived and died, loving and forgiving.
In 1969, while Mandela was in prison, he wrote “The threat of death evoked no desire in me to play the role of martyr.’
His famous quote, “Forgiveness liberates the soul, it removes fear,” is such a powerful weapon. It is this forgiveness towards his nation’s wrongdoers that he used as a weapon against the oppressive apartheid regime. His forgiveness of his enemies was truly lifechanging. This enabled the transformation of relationships, positive change and peace in his beloved country, South Africa.
And while we may never rise to the level of the Honorable Mandela, we all can learn proper, healthy steps to forgiveness.
Steps to True Forgiveness
- First and foremost, give yourself the needed time to cool off and reflect on everything that transpired. And there’s no shame in letting it out… cry, scream, vent… whatever you need to do.
- As hard as it may seem, learn to accept the person’s apology. It takes courage to admit when one is wrong. And by acceptance, you’re closer to forgiveness and ultimately being happy again.
- Now’s not the time to be timid. Let the person know exactly how you feel.
- Show compassion. Think of all the good things that this person or friend did for you in the past.
- Reflect – did you ever wronged that person yourself in the past? Do you need to make amends yourself?
- Consider the grand scheme of things–is there a lesson to be learned?
- If this relationship is meaningful to you, try to rebuild trust.
The Most Powerful Emotion of Them All in Forgiveness – LOVE
If you want to experience good health, happiness and joy in a balanced life, you have to make use of the power of forgiveness! And just as important, if one can also have unconditional love in the act of forgiveness, this truly will be a life changer.
Forgiveness and unconditional love are art that takes time to learn. But when you learn how, the true Power of Forgiveness takes on a divine elevation and can and is a life changer.
In Conclusion – Are You Ready to Forgive?
I would be in total amiss if I didn’t include what I feel is a very important component of the “Power of Forgiveness”. In fact, I would be willing to go on the record and state that 99% of those reading this blog are invested spiritually with your own individual faith and beliefs.
The concept of forgiveness might differ, but it still calls for love and a pure heart. For in my mind, the ultimate ‘divine power of forgiveness’ is provided to us in the unconditional love of God/Allah, etc. with the act of praying or meditating daily. And when you do this, forgiveness truly becomes lifechanging. Blessings to all!
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
1. How can forgiveness be an act of love?
Love is the silent partner of forgiveness. Out of love, the hurt person may forgive their partner. This pardons him for his transgression and frees him from needless stress and anxiety. He may, as a result, introspect and resolve not to repeat the ‘crime’. Forgiveness also helps the ‘victim’ to avoid despair, anger, and bitterness. So the relationship can continue with greater tolerance and understanding.
2. What are the basic steps of forgiveness?
The decision to forgive is not an easy one as it demands introspection. But the process is a simple one to follow:
– Examine the issue objectively
– Reflect on your actions and those of the person who caused the hurt
-Show acceptance for the pain and let it go
– Make the choice to forgive by showing compassion and love
3. What are the mental health benefits of forgiveness?
It’s important to cultivate forgiveness in our daily lives as it is so good for our mental health. Forgiving a wrong whether it’s a betrayal by a partner or slights by your boss allows you to:
– Assess your actions and your role in the issue
– Develop greater self-confidence as you strive to avoid future conflicts of this type
– Build a positive mindset
– Exhibit good values like kindness and compassion
– Reduce stress and anxiety
4. How does forgiveness make you a better person?
When you show true forgiveness, you instinctively start to show more spiritual qualities.
You intentionally embrace the love for fellow man and find it easier to show understanding, compassion, and empathy. There is no desire to hold onto anger, bitterness, grudges or revenge as you see them as negative qualities that you do not want to take root in your life. So, the act of forgiveness is powerful in its transformative power.
5. What can you do to show forgiveness more easily?
This post refers to becoming “forgivingly fit.” Forgiveness is seen as a muscle that needs to be worked on regularly so that it remains in peak condition. Here are a few ways to strengthen the forgiveness muscle:
– Choose not to gossip about the conflict
– Look at the conflict from the other person’s point of view
– Focus on the bonds you shared prior to the issue
– Be patient and compassionate in your daily actions
– Show kindness and love to the needy
For Further Reading, Check Out These Blog Postings:
“How to Get Happy Again: 7 Habits of Happy and Joyful People”
“The True Value of Friendship & Happiness”
“Just How Happy Are You Really?”
“Beyond Sadness, Helping Your Friends Smile Again”
“Master the Art of Gratitude With These 15 Tips”
You’re right that maintaining anger towards someone takes too much energy. I don’t understand how people do it to be honest. I’ve always been a let it go, but remember, kinda person.
Kez, thanks for your comment. That has been the case for me to in regards on how people can maintain their grudge. It simply takes way too much energy. But when someone really deeply hurts you, this is more difficult to let go. Many blessings to you.
So hard to say but so invaluable to do! Great piece!
Lisa, thanks for your comments. Yes I agree 100% – forgiveness is a struggle to do but so worth it in the end when freeing yourself to move on!
Hey very interesting blog!
Thanks for the comment.
So beautiful. It is so correcting said that Time heals everything and yes most importantly the show must go on. Hence, forgiveness is important to keep moving ahead.
It was a real motivational read. Thank you so much for sharing
Thank you for your kind words. Blessings.
Forgiveness is something that we ought to do , not really for the other person but mainly for ourselves. However, I find myself struggling with forgiveness especially of my ex husband who was really abusive. Thanks for reminding me of the need to forgive.
Anthea, thank you for comments. Forgiving ex-spouses is difficult but it will allow you to be set free.
Beautiful, I love this so much. I have had to forgive a friend for something that happened over 3 years. I keep telling myself that I forgive her, but in my heart the hurt is still there. Powerful article for sure, thanks for sharing!
Kate, thanks for your kind comments. It is a ‘freeing’ moment when you truly forgive and move on.
Forgiveness is life changing. What a powerful statement. Love it!
Melissa, yes it truly is!
Great post and very inspirational for days when become forgiving is hard to do.
Thanks for your comment. Yes forgiving is one of the most challenging things to do. But when you do, many blessings are for you!
I really, genuinely believed in the theory of forgiveness and how it can make you a better person. However it is one of the things I struggle with most. Forgiving an ex-husband who was a monster. I know it would be best for me, my kids, and everyone’s relationship if I could just let it go but I can’t. It’s frustrating for me because I know it would be the best scenario. Thank you for giving me some things to think about. I really do want to make it work.
Sasha, I totally 100% understand where you’re coming from. Those kind of betrayals and resulting hurt are very difficult to get beyond. But remember, you’re not pardoning him for what he did, you’re simply allowing YOURSELF the power to move-on and free yourself from his mental hold on you. Thank you for your comments. Many blessings to you.
Thank you… 😉
This is a great post and I wish more people would think this way. I have people who tell me all the time I need to forgive and forget and honestly, their nagging at me to forget makes it even that much harder to forgive. I know I need to do it for myself but it is not an easy task and hearing that it is ok not to forget actually does help. Maybe someday I can succeed.
Jean, thank you for such a great response! I too took a long time to allow the ‘hurt’ of betrayal to dull in memory before I allowed myself to let go and forgive. I KNOW you shall get there too! Blessings.
Thank you, Beth!
I always read about the benefits of forgiveness. It’s still very hard for me in some aspects. I am better now with forgiving myself for either things I did or for things I allowed to happen to me. I still struggle with forgiving others. Many times it leads me to leave myself open to having things I didn’t like happening again. Not to go too far into it all, leaving my ex was hard. He was abusive and while I have forgiven myself for putting myself in the situation and letting it go on, I still haven’t forgiven my ex for what he did to either me or my kids. It’s not just with him, it’s with other people as well. I know it’s affected my trust. I’m still working on it. But I do like reading posts like this because I hope to someday just have it hit me. I felt it once. It was brief. Thank you for the post. I am making slow progress.
Ashley, thank you for your comments. Just like the post suggests, forgiving does not always means forgetting… In fact, I think its pretty impossible, realistically. But with time, the hurt does dull and you can move on more assertively. Kudos for you to be courageous enough to get out of an abusive marriage. Many blessings.
Great blog! Sometimes the word ‘Sorry’ is over used. ‘Sorry is a board game.’ We are teaching the women, here in treatment to say, ‘I’m Sorry but, I apologize or excuse me.’ We have a quote, don’t know by whom but it is, ‘Don’t be Sorry, BE Different.’ I also, believe the hardest person to forgive is yourself. Keep up the blogs, loved it!
Andrea, you’re my greatest fan! Thanks for the words of wisdom.
A wise older gentleman once said that the most powerful word in the Bible was not love, not hope, but forgiveness. It takes a lot to reach inside yourself and let go of negative feelings. But it is so important to forgive because hatred and negativity can erode your soul. This is just what the world needs more of right now, the ability to learn to forgive.
DeShena, thanks for that wise saying. I couldn’t agree more.
This is so inspiring and so important to always remember as we are hard at forgiving.
Zee, thank you for your comments.