The Value of Friendship
Table of Contents
When is the last time you had a genuine conversation with a close friend? Regardless of the content of your discussion, you felt better afterwards, right? And more importantly, it did indeed contribute to your overall level of happiness as well.
Made You Smile Back is pleased to discuss this ever-important quality of the value of friendship and how it affects our happiness. You will discover what friendship is really about, types of friendship, benefits of friendship, and how happiness plays an important role in our relationships.
"True friendship promotes the good & happiness of one another."
What Exactly Does Friendship mean?
Friendship is the innate need for all mankind to feel a belonging or a connection to one another. According to Kendra Cherry, MS, it refers to a human emotional need to affiliate with and be accepted. But it's a lot more than just that.
What everyone needs to know about the value of friendship is its strong correlation to our state of happiness and well-being. It's a known fact after many studies, that friendship not only boosts our health, but our happiness as well. (To view a Harvard Case Study validating this, please check out this link.)
True friends are those who are there for you not just for the good times, but when times are not so good. True friends are reciprocal to one another and bring out the best of the best in each other. True friends demonstrate the real definition of being nonjudgmental and what unconditional love really means.
To help show what real friends truly are, please watch this video entitled, "What's a Real Friend?" by Noticias Teocraticas © Published on Sept 27, 2013
Four Traits of True Friendship
- Reliability -- Being reliable builds trust – your friends and loved ones know that they can count on you to keep your word, be there when you’ll say you’ll be, and do what you say you’ll do. Reliability also shows respect to each other.
- Listening & Being Nonjudgmental -- Non-judgmental listening means listening to understand and put your own views and values aside and being careful not to criticize or judge the person who you are listening to. It means accepting them as a person and accepting the things that they are struggling with.
- Authenticity -- Authenticity is about presence and staying true to yourself. Showing your 'colors' no matter what when you're with your friends. An authentic person puts their friends around them at ease, in a comforting way and makes one feels as if they are at home.
- Trustworthy -- The definition of trustworthy is someone who is honest who can be entrusted with your secrets and knowing they won't be shared with anyone else. It's also considered to be one of the most important traits of true friendship. You don't need someone who is going to agree with you all the time. You need that special friend who you trust to be upfront and tell you what they really are thinking. To hear the advice they are sharing with you.
Friendships Throughout Life
Childhood friends were the best, right? Childhood friendship is innocent, free from cares and it is unconditional. If you're lucky enough, you may even have developed a lifelong friend sealed with a pinkie promise!
Friendships are incredibly important during the formidable teen years, otherwise known as adolescence. Teen friendships help young people feel a sense of acceptance and belonging.
Moreover, teenage relationships with peers support the development of compassion, caring, and empathy. Furthermore, adolescent friendships are a big part of forming a sense of identity outside the family.
That said, teen friendships can also, unfortunately, have a dark side and teamed with friends who are simply 'fake'. It's important to be able to recognize the traits of toxic friends. Usually, one knows immediately simply for the mere fact that spending time with them doesn't make you feel good. And remember, true friendship is one that promotes your happiness and well-being.
CAUTION - BE AWARE OF TOXIC FRIENDSHIPS - THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS - LEARN TO WALK AWAY. WATCH THIS 3 MINUTE VIDEO FROM 'PSYCH TO GO'©
Moving into our college years, and a little bit more mature from our high school days, (or we should be anyways). We don’t dwell on the friendships lost and instead we look forward to the new people that we will meet.
College is also the time where you may discover people that you will want to hold on to as friends for the rest of your life. Who remembers those friends of yours, that help you deal with the stress of finals or new relationships! I bet they are still in your inner circle today.
And these types of friends are where distance and age make no difference where they are. When you reconnect, it's like being with them like it was yesterday!
Friends You Meet At Work -- Having work friends can definitely make you happier on the job. After all, the average person works 40+ hours and chances are, you spend more time with your colleagues than your friends and family each week. And make no mistake, you can make lasting friendships from those you have worked with throughout your career years.
But... you must be mindful. Your co-workers and/or clients need to 'earn' the right to be a true friend. Remember one of the four traits of true friendship - trustworthiness? You will know with time, who you can trust and who you want to include in your life.
Friendships in Later Life -- As we age 'gracefully' as I say since I am... the older generation has the luxury of being more selective of who their true friends are. Yes, we have longtime friends from childhood all the way thru college and career. But because 'time is more precious' in these formidable years, we tend to gravitate to those who are 'authentic' and who makes one feel special and important. In fact, it's common that many older adults have just as many friends of the younger generation as they do of their own age group.
In this regard, true friendship along these lines are more 'give and take' of imparting knowledge and wisdom and experiencing the 'freshness and energy' of youth. Cross-generational friendships can be just as every bit rewarding as same-aged friends.
The World Wide Web -- I would be totally amiss if I didn't include the impact of the evolution of technology involving the creation of new and dynamic type relationships. In fact, one may never leave the boundaries of their state, let alone their country, and become international friends with anyone in the world today.
I could write another blog on this subject, which I may. But let me tell you this as a professional blogger... I have not just made friends, but true friends, from Australia to Pakistan to South Africa to Algeria to Great Britain to Florida to even someone I didn't even know was living 15 miles from me!
And you know what! Friends are friends are friends. It makes no difference how one is created. They are all just as important in experiencing the happiness that comes along with it.
The Friendship - Happiness Link
So by now, it should be very clear of how the value of friendship, especially true friendship, translates to being a much more happier person. In fact, survey after survey found that when an individual becomes happy, the network effect can be measured up to three degrees. One person’s happiness triggers a chain reaction that benefits not only their friends, but their friends’ friends, and their friends’ friends’ friends.
"Having Happy Friends Can and Will Make You Happy!"
7 Ways Why Friends Make Us Happier
The importance of friendship in our lives obviously should never be taken for granted. Besides, true benefits cannot be measured (who can calculate how much joy or happiness one has received from all the years from your childhood or college best friend)?
When researching for writing this blog, I read literally 'hours' of content. But per this website, Happify Daily, the following are seven of the best reasons why friends make us so happy and I couldn't agree more!
1) The Happiest People are the Most Social
2) Happiness Is Contagious
3) Friends Cut Out the Small Talk—and That Makes Us Happy
4) We Turn to Friends When We’re Stressed
5) Our Friends Helps Us Be Optimistic
6) Friendships Improve Our Health
7) Our Friends Help Us Live Longer
Frequently Asked Questions!
Good friends are not only important to the quality of your life but also for your own mental health fitness. Friendship essentially involves a distinctive kind of concern for your friend, a concern which might reasonably be understood as a kind of love. To live and to love are inseparable from each other. Therefore, the true intrinsic value of this kind of love is Friendship.
The elements of true friendships include loyalty, genuine empathy, loving concern, honesty, thoughtfulness, connection and trust. In addition a true friendship also includes reciprocity. This is the starting point, but for a lasting true friendship, that comes with time.
It has been determined by new research in the Journal of Personal Relationships that friends become increasingly very important to our health and happiness as we age. In fact, friendship is so crucial, that having supportive friendships in old age was round to be a stronger predictor of well being than having strong family connections.
It has been determined that people who valued both their family and friendship relationships enjoyed greater health and higher happiness. Reiterating the above question, as we get older, the value of friendship relationships became a stronger predictor of health and happiness even when valuing family.
According to Marie Claire , the three kinds of utility are:
Friendships of utility: exist between you and someone who is useful to you in some way. ...
Friendships of pleasure: exist between you and those whose company you enjoy. ...
Friendships of the good: are based on mutual respect and admiration.
In Summary, The Value of Friendship is Indeed Happiness!
In conclusion, friendship is intentional. Friendship is the serendipitious interactions with those selected few that exudes a spark of friendship chemistry. Friendship allows us to reach our higher self of actualization. And most importantly, friendship IS INDEED HAPPINESS!
**Psst! Do You Want To Take A HAPPINESS QUIZ to find out how Happy You Really Are? Here's Your Chance!**
For Additional Reading
- How Happy Are You Really with Happiness Quiz
- Beyond Sadness - Helping Your Friends Smile Again
- Master the Art of Gratitude
- Why Can't I Just Be Happy Again?
Much appreciation to Poovanesh Pather for her assistance in Keyword and SEO Research in preparing for this post. For more information, please click on this link.
Join the conversation and share one of your favorite memories you experienced with one of your True Friends!
Love ❤️ this! Friends are so cherished!!
Jen, I couldn't agree more!
You are right, we all need friendship and they do enhance our lives and take away many of the stress we find ourselves in. It takes really good friends to help us see the problems in our lives that we are so caught up in and unable to see the danger in sometimes.
Marshalee, thank you for your comments. Yes a true friend isn't one that always says 'yes' in agreement. A true friend will be honest and tell you the truth so you can grow and become the best you can be. Those are the ones you cherish. Many blessings to you.
Love the 4 traits of Friendship. The fact holds true that Friend in need is a friend indeed. Thanks for sharing
Heena -travelandhikewithpcos
Heena, thanks for your comments. There were so many characteristics of friendship but I wanted to narrow it down to the most important and that's how I came up with the four. I will check your blog out as well! Blessings!
Thank you, Beth. Wow, what a lot of work you did, on this blog. Loved it! Friends are important. I've had many friends that have come and gone. But, Grateful for the time they were with me. So Grateful to have married my Best Friend! That human need to fill the like you 'belong.' Friends are a BIG part of that. (and that 'need' can sometimes be just, 'needy' not to get confused with 'friendship.') There are so many people that have touched my life that are not what would necessarily be called a 'friend' but a great Gift from God, at just the right time. Stay happy, it's a choice, just like picking a 'friend.' Remember, 'to have a friend you must be a friend.'
Andrea, thank you for sharing your insights.
I really enjoyed this article. I absolutely agree with you, friendships are an important part of life. My friends are amazing and I would be lost without them.
Wendy, I so agree. Sometimes though, I wish some of my friends would be more engaging, but I love them all the same.
I have some very close and good friends and most of them for over 20 years.
Ashley, you have indeed been blessed with good friends lasting year after year. Blessings to you.
I enjoyed reading this. I've had many friends that have come and gone and I've definitely had some unhealthy friendships in my time. Great friends are amazing.
Candice, Thanks for your comments. The good news, as we get older, we can spot 'toxic or fake' friendships and eliminate them from our life to make room for those who are true friends!
Love this post!! "Friendship not only boosts our health, but our happiness as well" YES! So true! I'm going through the "teen" friendships with my daughter right now, so this article was very timely! Thank you!! 🙂
Kate, yes I remember the 'teen years' with all three of my daughters. Many a time I had to 'console' one of them when the 'true colors' of their so-called friends ended up being more of the 'jealous' type. Thankfully, once they all got into college, they had solid real friends who are with them even now.
So true! Making just a few genuine friends during every phase of our life makes all the difference!!
Mukti De Chaudhari, thanks for your comments. I couldn't agree more. Blessings!
My very good friend was over last night. I hadn’t seen her in a while but it really did make me feel happy and changed my outlook! I didn’t realize it so much until I read this post!
Michelle, yes running into friends you haven't seen in a while can be so refreshing and great memories to share with one another.
Great post - I really enjoyed this. Friendship is such an important and fundamental part of our lives. It's important not to take that for granted. Thanks for sharing.
Britt, thanks for your kind comments. Yes, friendship is a very fundamental and necessary part of our lives.
True friends are hard to come by in this world. As I've grown older, my circle definitely has gotten much smaller. Especially in this digital world we live in, our true friends are our "Followers" or the people who "like" our Facebook Page, but the ones that are always there when we need them. I've learned that many people that I thought were my friends over the years really just weren't worthy enough for my time and attention. Friends come and go, but True Friends and Family are forever!
Great Article! It was nice to reflect on things we don't think about too much
Eric, thanks for your comments. Yes, friends come and go thru life, but the 'true' friendships will endure. Those are the ones who makes us happy!
Absolutely loved reading this and can not agree more. Friends are so important, I don’t know where I would be without mine. I also feel truly blessed to call you one of my friends Beth xx
Michelle, thank you so much for your kind words. It is so amazing that one can have internatonal friends thru the use of social media and I am so happy that we did indeed become great Friends!
This is such an amazing article Beth. We need friends in our life. But childhood friends are always special in life. I am lucky to have them.
Thank you for sharing such a nice post. Keep inspiring.
Jamie, thank you for your kind words. One of my best friends not only was a childhood friend but actually a first cousin!
This is all very true! Well written article on friendship.
Elizabeth, thanks for the kind words.
I loved reading this blog. It is so heartfelt and touching, and I couldn't agree more with the ideas you have reflected here. As we grow older, we realize the importance of true friendships all the more. For me, I love a heart to heart talk and cozy few hours with just 1 or 2 of my closest friends much more than hanging out in a large social group. It's so important to have those 1-2 closest buddies through your life and we should consider ourself lucky if we can find one such friend for life.
Thanks for sharing this beautiful piece.
Divya. Thank you so much for the this
incredible feedback on my blog it's nice to hear someone appreciate what I write.
What a great post! Friendship is such a big and important part of our lives. And I love that you point out the qualities of true friendship, because that really does matter. Holding onto relationships that aren't "true friendship" can be unhealthy. Thank you for sharing this! ??
Rose. Thank you for your positive comments.
Great post! Yes, friendships can change as we go through life. I grew up in the military so I lost contact with many friends as we moved frequently. Then Facebook came to light, and I was able to reconnect with many of those lost friends I had known for years. I recently have joined the blogging community and have developed many wonderful new friendships!
Denise, yes I couldnt agree more. And Im so glad our paths crossed as fellow bloggers!?
Thanks for the reorientation.
I've been dealing with some issues as regards friendship.
Now I know the issue is with me.
I hope in a good way, right? Manage your friendships and eliminate any that are toxic for sure. Many blessings.
I definitely agree with all of these traits. Thankful for the friends I do have!!
Sandra, I couldn't agree with you more! Friends are precious!
What an awesome post! Friendship is so important in our lives and as we go through the different phases of our lives, so does our friendship. I am so thankful of the "true" friends I have and as I am getting older and wiser, I have been more selective. All for the positive 🙂
Lina, thank you so much for you positive comments regarding the true value of friendship and happiness. Take care!
Loved this article. I believe friendships are so key to a health life
Lisa, thanks for your comment on my article regarding the truly value of friendship and happiness.
As always, a great post Beth. There can be no doubt that friends come and go depending on the season of your life. But true friends are there always no matter what. Through illness, I have been forced to stay home more and this does put a strain on maintaining friendships. Like you, I have made many amazing friend in the blogging community who have truly enriched my life. How I wish they lived around the corner and we could deepen our bonds with coffee dates. What a joy that would be.
Poovanesh, most definitely it would be so wonderful to share a cup of hot tea with you! Thanks for your kind words. Many blessings.
Lovely. Great friendships are definitely important. Although I believe you should not rely on anyone for your happiness, stable friendships do enhance your happiness and make you feel a sense of belongingness.