“Why Can’t I Just Be Happy Again?”
Why can’t I just be happy again was written to reach out to anyone and everyone who is looking for encouragement and how to come back to themselves and be the happy, positive and productive person they were in the past.
Why can’t I be happy is a familiar cry from many in the world today. We all want to experience joy again. If you’re suffering from acute depression, anxiety, or perhaps being a new mother experiencing the baby blues, or who are in the throes of post-partum depression, we all just want to be happy again.
Are you tired of being sad? Perhaps you don’t even know why you’re sad. This post is for you! Get back to your ‘happy place’. This post is meant for you!
“Why can’t I just be happy?” Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just go back in time and experience that one childhood moment when we experienced happiness as a state of being — of feeling inexplicable joy?
That one incredible moment when everything in our world was perfect, inside and out. Why can’t I just be this happy again!
In this article Made You Smile Back is going to discuss various reasons as to why we feel this way from time to time. We will also look at innovative ways we can overcome this temporary ‘state of being’ and find our happiness again.
I’m Just So Tired of Feeling this way!
Why You’re Not Happy
Have you caught yourself thinking that all the things that used to make you happy aren’t making you happy any longer? Sometimes the reason you can’t be happy is not that complicated.
All one has to do is just step out of yourself for a moment and ask your psyche why you’re so unhappy. You may be in a difficult situation and you see no way out.
Or things that once brought you joy, have lost their sparkle. This isn’t your fault. You may be stuck in an emotional rut.
You know you want to be happy. You wouldn’t be reaching out if you didn’t. And there my friend lies the power that is truly within you to change things around!
If you set your sights on all the right targets and/or goals and get your priorities straight, you can become happy again.
You’re stronger than you realize and you have the power within you to choose to do whatever it takes to Make You Smile Again.
You’re Not Alone…
For myself, I strive to spend the majority of my day smiling at others with the intent of making those I meet feel good about themselves. I even read somewhere that even with the act of smiling itself, it does seem to help. Something about the feel-good neurotransmitters being released. But I digress.
Here’s the deal. Maybe your unhappiness is a type of depression. Would it surprise you to know that depression is a medical condition and is considered a genuine illness, just like the flu?
Did you know that depression comes in many forms, whether it be clinical depression, bi-polar, postpartum or even a relatively new one recently identified – smile depression. Yes, you read correctly, smile depression and while I have firsthand experienced some of the others mentioned above as well, I can honestly tell you, smile depression is now a big concern of mine!
Are you hiding behind a ‘forced’ smile?
Think about it. Usually, when you think of someone suffering from depression, they are friends who are noticeably sad and perhaps disengaged from their loved ones and everyday life. Possibly you can relate to this.
You, on the other hand, smile all day long — at work, playing with your kids and/or grandkids, with your spouse and when greeting others at the cashier’s line in the grocery store. You laugh, you smile, and you may ‘look’ happy. Yet you can’t seem to shake off the feelings of loneliness and sadness that are buried deep below your surface
Do YOU Have Smile Depression?
According to Thai-An Truong, a mental health therapist at Oklahoma’s Lasting Change Therapy, this is smiling depression, also known as perfectly hidden depression. Symptoms include similar to those of depression: low mood, sadness, low self-worth, isolation and hopelessness. Is this you?
Do you “put on a happy face in front of others“, hiding your vulnerability and even using laughter as a means to disguise your pain? Don’t deny it any longer if you suffer or know someone who does.
It’s this very reason that people, especially women, with smiling depression who look put-together on the outside avoid getting help. You may feel like ‘oh this too will pass’ and isn’t bad enough to warrant reaching out to get help or see a mental health professional.
Reaching Out for Help
The good news is that help is actually closer than you think. The first step is to get yourself out of denial. Acknowledge that what you’re feeling is “real”. Next, talk to someone you trust. It can be a family member, someone you work with, a fellow church member or your primary care physician. Let them know what’s going on.
And listen carefully, “If they discount your feelings, find SOMEONE ELSE. You must be your own self-advocate.”
Sure eating a better diet and getting daily exercise can obviously help too. But you know what. So does therapy.
And please, if you know of a friend or a family member who seems to have it all turns to you for comfort, please don’t dismiss them. Don’t tell them to be grateful for what they have.
Instead, let that person know that you’re there to listen and support them. This goes for everyone suffering any type of depression.
Use Social Media to Reach Out Too!
With the modern technology of today, there’s not a better time than to take advantage of using social media! You know and I know, we all like to hear that familiar ding’ announcing to us to let us know someone is sending a message. Call, text, Facebook, or even email your friend(s) and engage with them in meaningful conversation! And yes, don’t forget to address them by their name. This is important, people feel ‘special’ when you call them by their name.
For some people, messaging via social media actually allows you to ‘open up’ more than you would have if in person. Not everyone, but for those who are somewhat introverted, this is an excellent option to help you who may need this type of engagement to connect and have meaningful dialogue.
And remember, you know you’re getting thru once you see that all too familiar smiley face icon! ?
5 Ways To Get Back to Happy!
By learning these five simple steps, you will help get your smile to resurface by putting YOU first. You will see how easy it is to love yourself back to being able to smile again.
Once you have master these five simple steps, the benefits will help you achieve better overall well-being and greater happiness. So, grab a pencil (okay, maybe your iPad…), take notes and let’s begin, shall we?
- You must live in the present. Stop replaying negative events over and over again in your head. And don’t worry about the future. It hasn’t even arrived yet… Learn to be grateful for everything good in your life. Accept and celebrate the flexibility of nature. Be open to the serendipity nature of the ebbs and flow of everything around you and appreciate the “small stuff”. And finally, take a step back and observe yourself in the moment. Instead of always ‘reacting’ to whatever you’re confronting, ‘respond’ and learn how to approach life in a harmonious way.
- Let go of negative thoughts. You must learn to forgive and forget and simply move on. Holding a grudge takes so much emotional and physical energy. It’s not worth it. Forgiveness allows YOU to exchange that negative energy into something more positive for yourself. It’s ‘freeing’. Embrace failures or mistakes and allow yourself to open up to success. Realize just how unique and special you truly are. Try to spend less time pleasing others and more time pleasing your higher self. Remove ‘toxic’ people from your life and hang out with like-minded, positive-oriented friends and family members.
- Be kind. Another way of finding happiness to get your smile back is to simply follow the golden rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do to you”. How about doing a random act of kindness. Go out of your way to help someone. You have no idea how much happiness and self-worth you can gain. It can be as easy as giving a bottle of water to a homeless person or paying a simple compliment to anyone you come in contact with. Even if it’s a total stranger. Kindness is also about being respectful to others. Sometimes its just better to let the other person be right once in a while. And when you do this simple action, you will SMILE back inside of yourself and immediately feel humbled and blessed for doing so.
- Get healthy and get an active lifestyle. I know you’ve heard it said many times, but it is true. Exercise really does make you feel better. It releases those wonderful endorphins which in turn helps you to relieve stress, minimize depression and improve your mood. You can’t help but be happier after a great workout that makes you sweat. Make a conscious effort to eat healthy. You know what I’m talking about. Keep it clean and be sure to drink as much water as necessary to stay hydrated. And finally, take some time ‘off’ from being on your cell phone and checking Facebook or whatever every other minute! Don’t be distracted all of the time. Stay focused, pray, meditate, do yoga, anything that helps you reflect and makes you feel better for your sense of well-being.
- Laugh more and you will smile more. You’ve heard it before but I’m going to remind you anyway. Laughter IS the best medicine. It too releases those feel-good endorphins. When is the last time you had a really good laugh? I’m talking a deep down ‘belly laugh’! If you haven’t seen the YouTube version of the delightful ‘Chewbacca Lady‘, here’s your chance now to not only see it but really get into it and have yourself a ‘belly laugh’ as well. You’ll be grinning from ear to ear with the biggest smile ever. You’ll thank me later, trust me!
Reclaim your Joy and Happiness!
Don’t let your sadness rob you of the true joys of life. You deserve to have your ‘inside’ match what you show on the outside. And one of the goals of creating ‘Made You Smile Back’ is to have a place to go to talk about things of this matter and to leave with a ‘smile’, a genuine ‘smile back’.
It’s Your Turn, Please Join In The Conversation!
Please leave your comments below.
I can relate to that sometimes I just muddle through the day and blame it on lack of something on my end
This right here..it was as if you had followed me around observing, and then written this about me. You are truly amazing and have a gift with words. I look forward to reading more. ?❤️
Thank you Tiffany, I’m so glad it touched your heart! Now, get back to Happy as fast you can! Others need your ‘white light’!
Really great post!(: Mental health is so important.
Thanks Houda. I didn’t even known ‘smile depression’ existed until I did research on this subject. Yes, mental health and overall wellbeing are very important.
There is a big need for this! There are way too many people struggling with depression. My cousin committed suicide last year and it was a great loss. She is the reason why I started blogging. I have found my passion in helping other women find their strengths and build the awesome characteristics they already have. We get so tied up in life and taking care of everyone else we lose ourselves in the process. I struggled with depression for many, many years. But, I have found a natural way that works for me. It takes work, but it works 🙂 I appreciate your post very much.
Thank you Luz for your comments. Im so sorry about your cousin.
This is something I’ve done my entire life and just thought it was “normal”. Thank you for sharing this and educating!!!
Analee, thanks for your comment. We all need to share this message to our friends and loved ones.
Thanks for sharing. We can not talk about depression enough and allowing ourselves to open up about it is how we heal and survive. If I may I would like to share this with you. https://blair-shares.blogspot.com/2018/07/taking-time.html
This was an eye-opening post! I had never thought about this before but it makes so much sense. Thank you for sharing.
I can definitely relate to this. I literally did not know how to express my emotions, literally or in words. I would put on a smile even though I was feeling deeply lonely because it was the only thing I knew how to do. When I broke down crying, my friends actually started laughing at me because they thought I was playing a joke on them. I was offended at the time, but looking back, I realize that they were simply acting off the information I gave them. Since 99% of the time I was smiling and appeared happy, how could they think I was anything other than that?
Kate, thank you so much for your heart-sharing comment. I believe I’m alot like you and we’re probably both what they call, ’empathatic’ where we ‘feel the emotion’ of those around us. Unfortunately, it makes us uber sensitive. Hope this post helped you. Take care.
So true! These days it’s easier to frown than to smile, but a smile can REALLY make your day. Sometimes I just stand there and smile by myself (not in a creepy way), thanks for sharing!
Thanks for your comment. I too find myself smiling all by my lonesome… but that judt shows we’re happy people!
So many of us smile and act happy when we’re not….I know I have. Mainly because we are everything to eveyrbody kids, parents…
But you need to make time for yourself to do the things that make you happy.
Nina, thank you for your comments. I agree so heartedly that we need to take time for ourselves and learn to be happy again.
Thank you
Interesting post! I have to admit that I’ve never heard of smile depression before. Very insightful. I like how you mention to be your own advocate for mental health. It’s true, someone will eventually help you, it just takes time. And waiting to feel better is difficult, but it will be all worth it in the end.
KayJ, thanks for your kind comments. One thing my Mom always said was, “This too shall pass” and you must be patient with yourself to get to that point. But yes, it is a struggle for many and I hope I can help in some small way to be a place to be uplifted and inspired.
Wonderful post!
Alpana, thank you for your comment!
Wow, i really needed to read this today. I had an extremely stressful week. You are correct, mental health should be priority. People should be more aware about mental health issues.
Nina, I’m so glad you came across my blog article. Sometimes, God has a way of putting someone in your path to help you. I firmly believe in these things. Nina, you are in my prayers and I hope the holidays will be more joyful than stressful for you. Explore other articles on my blog, perhaps they can help you as well. Many blessings and positive thoughts!
Beth, this is beautiful.
I recently came across a quote that I shared on Instagram that asks, ‘are you really happy or just really comfortable?’
Let’s face it- for a really long time – we only had to use streamline news channels on Television, magazines, and newspapers to access what was supposedly entertainment. But the moment social media kicked in, that was a switch at the click of a button to control what defined entertainment. This flip from receiving ‘controlled’ happiness to providing ‘endless’ happiness is one of the secret success of the growing number of social platforms on the world wide web.’ Memes, GIFs, selfies and short video clips contribute to happiness according to studies carried out and published online.
But in reference to my earlier question, are we really happy or really comfortable? If we are to accept the good outcomes of social media, the need to just be happy is a priority in everyone’s list. I have dealt with those at the peak of success and are willing to paying lots of money to be happy. Others choose to step out and start charitable causes in pursuit of happiness.
Happiness is everything and it is a personal choice today.
Hazle, first, thank you for your comments. This is really thought-provoking and enlightening of what you said. You pose a very interesting question, are we really happy or just comfortable. I may use this as a future topic for a blog! Many blessings to you.
I really love this post because i had suffered all those problems in the past, but now i am fine because of meditation.
Dev, thanks for taking the time to comment on my blog,’Why Can’t I Just Be Happy?”. I’m so glad you found it informative. So glad to hear that you’re fine now. Continued blessings to you.
Great article really!! I suffer from post-graduate depression I don’t know if it’s a real medical term but the depression is REAL I am now working on feeling all positive and practising gratitude. Thank you for sharing!
Rawda, thank you so much for your kind comemnts on my blog, ‘Why Can’t I just Be Happy?” Yes, practicing gratitude does indeed go a long way in coping with all kinds of depression. Many blessings.
Excellent article. It’s so true that there most often a different person hiding behind that smile. Your tips are easy and helpful.
Surabi Kaushik, thanks for your positive comments.
I am very happy that I found this great article.
Thank you Amit for your positive comment.
Beth, thank you for giving practical reasons to be happy. During this trying time, I find myself looking for ways to improve my attitude.
One smile goes a long way! But yes, in today’s world many are just faking it. Love this article. Great read.
Mental health is a tough topic. There are many people hiding behind forced smiles. It can be hard for people to reach out. But there is happiness on the other side. And it can be a relief to tell someone how you are feeling. Fantastic tips for finding happiness again. Thanks for this post.
That’s a huge topic for me.
A few years ago, I’ve felt for the first time that I’m not happy.
I had a really unhealthy lifestyle, my life been full of stress, I didn’t try to step out from my comfort zone, and so on..
Therefore, I had to change it, I’ve lost weight, started meditating, doing yoga, socializing, taking cold showers, and I started to try new things that I’ve never done before in order to stay away from my comfort zone.
All of the above helped me and still helping me to achieve my goals, become happier, and become my best self.
Thanks for your advice, I’ve really enjoyed reading it 😊
That’s really interesting about “smiling depression”, I’d never heard of it before. Thanks for these great tips!
Great post! I’m guilty of sometimes smiling through the low days because I don’t want to burden others with my troubles. I do have some wonderfully supportive friends who are always so helpful when I do share. It’s so important to work through your low points because there are always better days!
Thank you for talking about depression since there is still an unfortunate stigma about it. I’m currently writing this wearing my American Foundation for Suicide Prevention t-shirt I received after participating in their annual Out of Darkness walks. And, you’re absolutely right that when you smile, feel good neurotransmitters are released. But, as you pointed out, if we have clinical depression, there aren’t many feel good neurotransmitters to be released. Depression is curable so thank you for the awareness, especially during Suicide awareness month!
I love your article because it really serves as an important reminder for myself and others dealing with the stresses and worries of everyday life. I too have been sad and the what spoke out to me most is being in the present – it’s something I struggle with and am working on but just want to thank you for the great reminder 🙂
Hannah, I’m so glad you found comfort in this article. Just know, you can always reach out. Anytime to your friends, confident, doctor or even myself as a mental health advocate. Many blessings.
Thank you for sharing all of this important information. I can definitely relate to alot of this.