Experiencing Joy
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Why Can't I just Be Happy?!?
Why can’t I just be happy was written to reach out to anyone and everyone who is looking for encouragement and how to come back to themselves and be the happy, positive and productive person they were in the past.
Why can’t I be happy is a familiar cry from many in the world today. We all want to experience joy again. New mothers who are experiencing the baby blues, or who are in the throes of post-partum depression just want to be happy again.
Are you tired of being sad? Perhaps you don’t even know why you’re sad. This post is for you! Get back to your ‘happy place’. This post is meant for you!
“Why can’t I just be happy?” Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just go back in time and experience that one childhood moment when we experienced happiness as a state of being. Of feeling inexplicable joy.
That one incredible moment when everything in our world was perfect, inside and out. Why can’t I just be this happy again!
In this article Made You Smile Back is going to discuss various reasons as to why we feel this way from time to time. We will also look at innovative ways we can overcome this temporary ‘state of being’ and find our happiness again.
I'm Just So Tired of Feeling this way!
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Why You're Not Happy
Have you caught yourself thinking that all the things that used to make you happy aren’t making you happy any longer? Sometimes the reason you can’t be happy is not that complicated.
All one has to do is just step out of yourself for a moment and ask your psyche why you’re so unhappy. You may be in a difficult situation and you see no way out.
Or things that once brought you joy, have lost their sparkle. This isn’t your fault. You may be stuck in an emotional rut.
You know you want to be happy. You wouldn’t be reaching out if you didn’t. And there my friend, lies the power that is truly within you to change things around!
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If you set your sights on all the right targets and/or goals and get your priorities straight, you can become happy again.
You’re stronger than you realize and you have the power within you to choose to do whatever it takes to Make You Smile Again.
You're Not Alone...
For myself, I strive to spend the majority of my day smiling at others with the intent of making those I meet feel good about themselves. I even read somewhere that even with the act of smiling itself, it does seem to help. Something about the feel-good neurotransmitters being released. But I digress.
Here’s the deal. Maybe your unhappiness is a type of depression. Would it surprise you to know that depression is a medical condition and is considered a genuine illness, just like the flu?
Did you know that depression comes in many forms, whether it be clinical depression, bi-polar, postpartum or even a relatively new one recently identified – smile depression. Yes, you read correctly, smile depression and while I have firsthand experienced some of the others mentioned above as well, I can honestly tell you, smile depression is now a big concern of mine!
Are you hiding behind a 'forced' smile?
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Think about it. Usually, when you think of someone suffering from depression, they are friends who are noticeably sad and perhaps disengaged from their loved ones and everyday life. Possibly you can relate to this.
You, on the other hand, smile all day long — at work, playing with your kids and/or grand kids, with your spouse and when greeting others at the cashier’s line in the grocery store. You laugh, you smile, and you may ‘look’ happy. Yet you can’t seem to shake off the feelings of loneliness and sadness that are buried deep below your surface.
Do YOU Have Smile Depression?
According to Thai-An Truong, a mental health therapist at Oklahoma’s Lasting Change Therapy, this is smiling depression, also known as perfectly hidden depression. Symptoms include similar to those of depression: low mood, sadness, low self-worth, isolation and hopelessness. Is this you?
Do you “put on a happy face in front of others“, hiding your vulnerability and even using laughter as a means to disguise your pain? Don’t deny it any longer if you suffer or know someone who does.
It’s this very reason that people, especially women, with smiling depression who look put-together on the outside avoid getting help. You may feel like ‘oh this too will pass’ and isn’t bad enough to warrant reaching out to get help or see a mental health professional.
Reaching Out for Help
The good news is that help is actually closer than you think. The first step is to get yourself out of denial. Acknowledge that what you’re feeling is “real”. Next, talk to someone you trust. It can be a family
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member, someone you work work, a fellow church member or your primary care physician. Let them know what’s going on.
And listen carefully, “If they discount your feelings, find SOMEONE ELSE. You must be your own self-advocate.”
Sure eating a better diet and getting daily exercise can obviously help too. But you know what. So does therapy.
And please, if you know of a friend or a family member who seems to have it all turns to you for comfort, please don’t dismiss them. Don’t tell them to be grateful for what they have.
Instead let that person know that you’re there to listen and support them. This goes for everyone suffering any type of depression.
Reclaim your Joy and Happiness!
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Don’t let this rob you of the true joys of life. You deserve to have your ‘inside’ match what you show on the outside. And one of the goals of creating ‘Made You Smile Back’ is to have a place to go to talk about things of this matter and to leave with a ‘smile’, a genuine ‘smile back’.
Join the conversation and please leave your comments below.
Here’s to Having Your Best Year Ever and Don’t Forget to Subscribe!
I can relate to that sometimes I just muddle through the day and blame it on lack of something on my end
Really great post!(: Mental health is so important.
Thanks Houda. I didn’t even known ‘smile depression’ existed until I did research on this subject. Yes, mental health and overall wellbeing are very important.
There is a big need for this! There are way too many people struggling with depression. My cousin committed suicide last year and it was a great loss. She is the reason why I started blogging. I have found my passion in helping other women find their strengths and build the awesome characteristics they already have. We get so tied up in life and taking care of everyone else we lose ourselves in the process. I struggled with depression for many, many years. But, I have found a natural way that works for me. It takes work, but it works 🙂 I appreciate your post very much.
Thank you Luz for your comments. Im so sorry about your cousin.
This is something I’ve done my entire life and just thought it was “normal”. Thank you for sharing this and educating!!!
Analee, thanks for your comment. We all need to share this message to our friends and loved ones.
Thanks for sharing. We can not talk about depression enough and allowing ourselves to open up about it is how we heal and survive. If I may I would like to share this with you. https://blair-shares.blogspot.com/2018/07/taking-time.html
This was an eye-opening post! I had never thought about this before but it makes so much sense. Thank you for sharing.
I can definitely relate to this. I literally did not know how to express my emotions, literally or in words. I would put on a smile even though I was feeling deeply lonely because it was the only thing I knew how to do. When I broke down crying, my friends actually started laughing at me because they thought I was playing a joke on them. I was offended at the time, but looking back, I realize that they were simply acting off the information I gave them. Since 99% of the time I was smiling and appeared happy, how could they think I was anything other than that?
Kate, thank you so much for your heart-sharing comment. I believe I’m alot like you and we’re probably both what they call, ’empathatic’ where we ‘feel the emotion’ of those around us. Unfortunately, it makes us uber sensitive. Hope this post helped you. Take care.
So true! These days it’s easier to frown than to smile, but a smile can REALLY make your day. Sometimes I just stand there and smile by myself (not in a creepy way), thanks for sharing!
Thanks for your comment. I too find myself smiling all by my lonesome… but that judt shows we’re happy people!
So many of us smile and act happy when we’re not….I know I have. Mainly because we are everything to eveyrbody kids, parents…
But you need to make time for yourself to do the things that make you happy.
Nina, thank you for your comments. I agree so heartedly that we need to take time for ourselves and learn to be happy again.
Thank you
Interesting post! I have to admit that I’ve never heard of smile depression before. Very insightful. I like how you mention to be your own advocate for mental health. It’s true, someone will eventually help you, it just takes time. And waiting to feel better is difficult, but it will be all worth it in the end.
KayJ, thanks for your kind comments. One thing my Mom always said was, “This too shall pass” and you must be patient with yourself to get to that point. But yes, it is a struggle for many and I hope I can help in some small way to be a place to be uplifted and inspired.