Feeling Lonely? 7 Surprising Strategies to Feel Connected

Feeling Lonely? 7 Surprising Strategies to Feel Connected –

Finding Your Way ‘Out of the Dark’

Do you often find yourself feeling lonely? I don’t know about you, but there have been more than a few times in my life when I just felt so alone. And what makes matters worse is that I often feel that I have no one to go to when I feel those bouts of loneliness.

Loneliness is a common feeling that many people experience. It’s more than just being alone – it’s a sense of disconnect from others.

Don’t you wish there were some secret tips you could apply for dealing with or better yet, eliminate loneliness?

Table of Contents

In this blog, Made You Smile Back will share 7 effective secret techniques for dealing with loneliness and get back to feeling happy. 

We shall discuss exactly what loneliness is and how it is caused, explain the difference between being alone vs loneliness, the most common types of loneliness and present strategies in coping and finding your way ‘out of the darkness’.

Finding Your Way Out of The Dark

FACT: Loneliness is a Worldwide Epidemic Currently Affecting 1 in Every 3 Adults

Let’s start the discussion with this very informative YouTube video by Jay Shetty, a former monk turned motivational speaker who shares his wisdom in providing clarity with mental health issues with positivity.

Loneliness has the same impact on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, making it even more dangerous than obesity.

Douglas Nemecek, MD, chief medical officer for behavioral health, Cigna

What Exactly Is Loneliness?

According to verywellmind.com, loneliness is described as a state of solitude or being alone. But actually, loneliness is actually a state of mind. Loneliness causes people to feel empty, alone, and unwanted. People who are lonely often crave human contact, but their state of mind makes it more difficult to form connections with other people.

On the other hand, loneliness is not necessarily about being alone. Instead, if you feel alone and isolated, then that is how loneliness plays into your state of mind.  But wait, some people are known to be ‘loners’. How does this play out?

The Difference between being a ‘Loner’ vs Being ‘Lonely’

One thing I’ve learned is the difference between feeling alone and feeling lonely – and how you can feel lonely in a crowd full of people, but quite peaceful and content when alone.Michelle Mumford

Everyone’s experience with loneliness is different from one another. It’s a personal thing. We must recognize that loneliness is not often the same thing and quite differently as being alone.

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In fact, many people freely choose to be alone and live quite contently and happy. Others may find this to be rather lonely. But even ‘loners’ can easily find themselves struggling with loneliness as well.

Are You a Lonely Socialite?

Photo by Canva

Are you a Social Loner? How many of you would be labeled easily from your friends who ‘think they know you’ and would argue that you’re one of the most social people out there! Often you’re considered the life of the party, right? Sound familiar? Let’s go one step further shall we?

We can be totally surrounded by people — regardless whether they are family, friends or strangers and we still feel so very much alone. Is it any wonder that even well-known celebrities and personalities have suffered all their life dealing with this condition?Robin Williams – Image by OpenClipArt© on Pixabay

Yes, it is with much sadness that the world lost the most comedic and heart-warming soul — Robin Williams. He recently passed three years August 11, 2015. He suffered from major depression which was the result of isolation and loneliness, especially in his later years. The problem with being a ‘social loner’ is the fact that it’s even more difficult, in the eyes of these special people, to reach out and seek help…. much-needed help.

In our next sections, Made You Smile Back shall go into more detail on the symptoms, causes and effects of loneliness. It is SO IMPORTANT that you fully understand the depth and scope of this real, if not potentially dangerous disease.Photo by Canva©

Symptoms of Loneliness

Are you feeling disconnected? As mentioned earlier, symptoms of loneliness may differ from person to person but may take on one or more of the symptoms as featured on Psych2Go. Psych2Go is a popular YouTube channel that currently has over 2.4 million subscribers and promotes mental health advocacy. They list these 7 symptoms of loneliness:

1. Your insomnia is an ongoing problem. According to research published in the journal Sleep, loneliness can wreck your chances of getting a restful night’s sleep. Researchers measured the sleep cycles of 95 people in South Dakota, comparing them with the participant’s self-reported loneliness scores.  The results? The lonelier the participant, the higher the levels of fragmented sleep. 
2. Your anxiety worsens. Do you already suffer from anxiety? When you are lonely, anxiety increases your cortisol based on your stress levels In turn, you will also start have more feelings of hopelessness.
3. You live on your couch or bed. Loneliness tends to make us become even more isolated by feeling ‘locked in’ to our home or one favorite spot. You may also find yourself lounging all day in your pj’s or even begin binge-watching your favorite NetFlix shows.
4. You have difficulty with social situations. Research shows that people who are lonely have a harder time in understanding and adapting social skills. Thus, they become isolated and even more alone.
5. You choose materials over people. According to research published in the Journal of Consumer Research, some people go gaga over inanimate objects because they’re lonely. The researchers call this “material possession love,” and you’ve probably witnessed it a number of times: your neighbor who calls his car “baby,” or your great aunt who prides herself on her doll collection. Because these folks suffer from a lack of social connections, they start doting on their things. Obviously, materials items cannot buy you happiness versus having real-life experiences interacting and connecting with friends and family.
6. You’re gaining weight. When you’re lonely, you find yourself turning to ‘comfort food’ or eating out of boredom. If you don’t catch yourself early on to break the cycle, the calories add up…
7. Alone time doesn’t feel fun anymore! If you start to feel more irritable than usual or you have no one to talk to who can relate to you like in the past, you may realize that alone time is no longer enjoyable as it once was, especially if you consider yourself a loner by choice.

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Once you recognize that you may have one or more of these symptoms, you need to reach out to your primary care physician and determine what is causing you this distress.

What Causes Loneliness Anyway?!?

Loneliness is a real and overwhelming problem that people struggle with every day. We know what the symptoms are, but what causes loneliness in the first place? Let’s find out.

1. A new move or relocation to a new city or country. As a result, you suddenly have no friends to turn to when needed.
2. Becoming a newlywed or Mom and suddenly your old ‘single friends’ seem to have abandoned you.
3. You’ve become newly divorced or separated and find yourself having to make new friends becoming even more isolated.
4. Unlike becoming a new mother, a stay-at-home mom can feel that her career-driven friends have all by vanished from her inner circle.
5. People who suffer from anxiety, self-esteem issues or weight-related issues all can contribute to loneliness as well.
6. If you’re suffering from current mental health issues or battling chronic illnesses, these conditions can definitely trigger loneliness and isolation from others who ‘simply don’t understand’ what you’re going thru.
7. Perhaps your very best friend moved a long distance away or you recently endured a relationship break-up. You find yourself having too much time on your hands and thus loneliness creeps in.
8. Empathetically and understandingly, we would be amiss if we didn’t include the sorrowful bereavement of losing a loved one. In fact, research from Dr. R.S. Weiss, Phd, there is a strong preponderance of evidence to support that one can actually ‘die’ of a broken heart and loneliness as a result of the death of your spouse. It’s important to have close family friends be nearby so you can reach out to them as needed and as for as long as you need to!

The Shocking Effects of Loneliness and How Our Body Reacts

Loneliness and isolation can have far-reaching effects on our health, whether they occur together or independently of each other. Let’s take a closer look at both the physical and mental effects that loneliness causes.

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Health Risks Associated with Loneliness

A 2017 review Trusted Source of 40 studies on social isolation and loneliness found evidence to link these states to a higher risk of early death, cardiovascular issues, and worsened mental health.

Another 2017 studyTrusted Source looked at results from the 2012 Swiss Health Survey, and found evidence to link loneliness to increased risk for:

• chronic illness
• high cholesterol
• emotional distress
• diabetes
• depression

Image by Geralt © on Pixabay

7 Secret Techniques to Cope with Loneliness

So enough already! Do you not agree how important it is that we learn to take care of ourselves and treat loneliness as a real health concern? We need to treat it as it truly is… a bonafide medical disease. Made You Smile Back encourages each and everyone reading this blog to learn these 7 secret tips to cope and help eliminate loneliness.

1. Acceptance that you are lonely. Dissect your feelings about it – change the mindset from having no friends to making friends.
2. Make a plan to deal with the loneliness – go where people are – like a coffee shop or the mall or the library – chat in lines – engage in small talk.
3. Get outside – an immediate mood booster – take a daily walk in a scenic park. Nature is so healing and you will feel an instant connection.
4. Start an exercise program – a dance class – the combo of music and movement will release the feel-good hormones – leaving you feeling more positive and energetic. Plus this is a great way to meet new friends!
5. Journal, journal, journal. I can’t emphasize the importance of pouring it all out there in a journal. Start doing daily and over time, you will progress from ‘venting’ to determining meaningful and effective solutions.
6. Create a support network of people to call or text or do Facetime when feeling down.
7. Seek out counseling, therapy, and/or make an immediate appointment with your primary care provider.

Frequently Asked Questions

Loneliness affects people of all ages and backgrounds. Many factors contribute to feeling lonely, and various strategies can help combat these feelings.

What strategies can help individuals overcome loneliness?

You can try reaching out to friends or family members. A simple phone call or text message can make a big difference.

Joining clubs or groups that align with your interests is another great way to meet like-minded people.

Volunteering is also an effective strategy. It allows you to connect with others while making a positive impact in your community.

Can loneliness have any long-term psychological impacts?

Yes, loneliness can have serious effects on your mental health. It may lead to depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem if left unaddressed.

Chronic loneliness can also affect your physical health. It may weaken your immune system and increase the risk of cardiovascular problems.

What role does social media play in feelings of loneliness?

Social media can be a double-edged sword when it comes to loneliness. It can help you stay connected with friends and family, especially those who live far away.

However, excessive social media use can also increase feelings of isolation. Comparing your life to others’ highlight reels may lead to feelings of inadequacy and loneliness.

How can engaging in community activities alleviate feelings of loneliness?

Community activities offer many opportunities to connect with others. You can join local sports teams, book clubs, or hobby groups to meet people with similar interests.

Attending community events like festivals or farmers markets can also help. These gatherings provide a chance to interact with neighbors and feel more connected to your area.

Are there any effective methods for seniors to combat loneliness?

Seniors can combat loneliness by staying active and engaged. Senior centers often offer activities and social events specifically designed for older adults.

Technology can also help. Learning to use video chat or social media can keep seniors connected with family and friends who live far away.

Why might someone feel lonely even when they are around others?

Feeling lonely in a crowd is a common experience. It often stems from a lack of meaningful connections rather than physical isolation.

You might feel this way if you’re in a new environment or if you struggle to open up to others. Sometimes, it’s a sign that your current relationships aren’t fulfilling your emotional needs.

In Conclusion – Final Last Words

Turning loneliness into self-discovery can be powerful.

The big ‘takeaway’ from this article is… Remember, loneliness is temporary. Even if you’re feeling lonely now, that doesn’t mean you’ll always feel lonely or you’ll never find a community that nourishes you.

• Feeling lonely doesn’t have to be a permanent state.
• You can take steps to feel more connected and less isolated.
• Turning loneliness into self-discovery can be powerful.
• Use this time to explore new hobbies or interests you’ve been curious about.
• Remember, being alone doesn’t always mean being lonely.
• You can find joy and peace in solitude too.

 “You are the architect of your future. You get to go out and make new and wise choices.”

Everyone of us has something to offer in all the connections and relationshps we make.

You’ve just got to go out and create them!

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4) Why Can’t I Just Be Happy?

Join in the Conversation Below and Share your Tips on how you deal with Loneliness!

If you’re in immediate crisis:

• The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline offers free, compassionate support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. You can call them at 1-800-273-8255 or get in touch with them through online chat.
• If you’d like help finding general mental health support, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration also offers round-the-clock free information and help finding treatment, though they don’t offer counseling services over the phone.
• The Anxiety and Depression Association of America also offers free online support groups, if you’re dealing with anxiety and depression along with loneliness. Find a group near you at their website.