Never force people to talk to you.
I’m sure we’ve all been in situations where we’ve been forced to talk to someone. Maybe it was our boss, a customer, or even a friend.
Even if you were not forced into a conversation, it’s likely that you felt awkward and uncomfortable when you had to talk to that person. It doesn’t matter if you were forced into the conversation, or if it was on purpose.
In both cases, you felt awkward and uncomfortable. In this blog post, we will cover the best times when to never force anyone to talk to you.
If you feel that you are forced to talk to someone, there are times when you absolutely should not do so. Here are the top three times when you should never force someone to talk to you:
1) Never force someone to talk to you when they simply don’t want to.
If you are talking to someone and they are not interested in talking to you, you should not force them to continue in the conversation.
The reason that you should never force someone to talk to you when they don’t want to is that it can lead to resentment.
It’s much better to ask them directly if they want to talk to you. It is also better to avoid being a passive-aggressive person. You can use phrases like, “I was wondering if you would like to talk to me.”
2) If you’re in a relationship and just had a major disagreement or a quarrel, now is not the time to force your loved one to talk. You both need time to perhaps calm down and reflect.
Yes, it’s sad when the person you want to talk to and be with doesn’t reciprocate when you want to talk with them to resolve your problems.
But now is not the time to force your loved one to talk to you. They may not be ready to talk to you. If you feel that you have to force your loved one to talk to you, it will most likely make things worse. Instead, respect each other and give each other the necessary space and time you each need.
3) Never force someone to talk to you when you have nothing to say of value.
If you have nothing to say, then it is best to keep your mouth shut. If you do have something to say, then you should wait for the right time to say it.
The reason that you should never force someone to talk to you when you have nothing to say is that it may make the other person feel awkward.
And more often than not, we may end up unintentionally saying the wrong thing. Or worse, what you did say was simply not nice.
The answer to that question depends on the situation, but the sooner you can move past the “should” and “shouldn’t” conversations, the better off you’ll be. As long as you’re making the effort, then it doesn’t matter if the conversation never occurs. If it does, great! You just saved yourself a ton of time.
If someone seems depressed, stressed, or otherwise lacking in joy, it can be beneficial to approach them and see what they have to say about their current situation. This may offer clues that can help you figure out what is going on with them.
People might feel down or unable to interact due to their circumstances; it is not about you. They may also be having a difficult time because of a recent event in their life. Maybe there was a break-up, or maybe they just lost someone close. Maybe something really sad happened. You cannot control how someone feels, but you can support them through the situation if they need you to do so.
In order for someone else’s words or counsel to ever be effective with another person, there must first be an element of trust.
The bottom line is simply this… more than anything else… if you realize that someone may be dealing with ‘depression’ or even a ‘mental illness’ issue, definitely reach out to them.
They may not want to talk right then and there… BUT… they do have ears and can listen to you reaching out to them and being empathetic to their situation.
The thing is… they may NOT want to open up and talk when you first approach them. But if they see you are sincere and they can trust you. Then, it is just a matter of time more than likely they WILL come to you and start talking.
There are many misconceptions out there about communication. Some people believe that you can communicate effectively with anyone anytime and anywhere. That may not be true for you.
People have a certain amount of “social lubrication” that they require to carry out a conversation. They also need a little help in understanding and being able to speak to people that have a different communication style than them.
We should all communicate with each other in a manner that makes sense to each of us. While that might seem like a big goal, it’s actually really simple. It just takes practice, so that we get better at it.
It’s important to understand that the way you communicate with someone is as important as what you say to them. That’s true whether you’re talking to a person, a group of people, or a group of potential clients.
Communication is a two-way street; we must be willing to listen as well as speak. Some people may feel that they need to be constantly talking with everyone else, but this is not the case. It’s important to be able to be silent, and be heard.
According to Lauren Van Allen, in her December 12, 2021 article posted in CreativeFlicks, when talking with someone remember to:
Furthermore, I would like to add that no matter how close you are with someone, never try to control what they do and never force anyone to talk to you about anything that’s personal when they don’t want to talk about it.
Let everyone handle their problems in their own way and never force anyone to talk about something they don’t want to. You don’t want to come across as ‘controlling’.
Sometimes quotes have a way of conveying how we feel at those times we simply don’t feel like talking. See if any of these popular quotes resonate with you.
Learn to walk away from the arms where you don’t belong before you end up suffocating there.Sai Pradeep
There are people who can walk away from you… let them walk. I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you… Your destiny is never tied to anybody. —Td Jakes
I realized that there was no point or sense in chasing after happiness that had perished.Mikhail Lermontov
Trust yourself and walk away from situations and people that don’t have your best interest at heart.Ben Ruston
If they don’t chase you when you walk away… Keep walking!Nitya Prakash
The moment you feel like you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment to absolutely and utterly walk away.Alysia Harris
The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.Ernest Hemingway
The right man in your life will fly across the world to say hello, instead of saying goodbye.Shannon L. Alder
When you know your value you don’t have to beg for attention.Unknown
Be a bit of a challenge; not because you’re playing games but because you realize you’re worth the extra effort.Mandy Hale
Dignity will only happen when you realize that having someone in your life doesn’t validate your worth.Shannon L. Alder
When you refuse to settle for less than the best…the best tends to track you down.Mandy Hale
Don’t force anyone to talk about how they are feeling or to tell you something. Just give them their space and time and if they will feel like to tell then they will tell you by their own.Neha Maurya
Observe the behavior of the butterfly, and chase no one, for they will only elude you.Michael Bassey Johnson
Never chase a person that doesn’t know your worth because the moment you catch him you will always feel you were never good enough.Shannon L. Alder
The bottom is… you simply can’t force people to talk to you.
By now it should be clear that you should never force anyone to talk to you – it’s a wrong thing to do. Not only others will feel resentment towards you, but your friendships are in danger of being ruined too.
Though, in scenarios when a person is depressed or faces other hardships in life, it’s okay to force a conversation. You might be the only light in that person’s life.
For more information, please check out this blog entitled, “Beyond Sadness – Helping Your Friends Smile Again.”
Furthermore, from the standpoint of love, you shouldn’t force a conversation. Hearts just break and can’t be fixed that easily. Love has to be a mutual feeling for it to work out. You may find this article helpful, “5 Tips to Smile Again in Times of Heartbreak and Struggle.”
Okay… now that you understand why you should never force someone to talk to you and how to improve your commuication skills, you’re ready to become a great conversationalist.
Communication is just as important as any other skill that you will need in your life. You should always be working on improving yourself and finding ways to adequately communicate with other people.
More importantly, now you are knowledgeable about ‘when to never force anyone to talk.’
Very thought provoking. Everyone pushes communication as the key. Perhaps knowing WHEH to communicate is the key.
Francine, thank you for your sage advice and thank you for reading my blog!
I know this is a thought-provoking article and welcome any positive feedback and comments on this subject. Do you have some advice to share as well?